But a new out-of-state court program is aiming to boost the level of support from those absent parents. If it proves successful, other states, including Texas, could adopt such programs of their own. The program, called Co-Parent Court, is designed specifically for unmarried parents. It was started by a family court judge who noticed that most of the unmarried men appearing in his courtroom were simply told they owed child support, rather than given any guidance on how to be a father.
]]> Co-Parent Court, based in Hennepin County, Minnesota, summons 200 parents from the county's family court. Participants are offered help in finding employment or counseling services to curb domestic violence, addiction or mental illness. They must also attend four weekly sessions on co-parenting, each of which starts with mothers and fathers meeting separately before the pairs come back together to write a parenting plan. The judge signs off on them and asks the parents to have goodwill and good faith as they proceed.The program's "navigators" spend eight hours of class time with the parents, many of whom are mothers resistant to the idea that they need parenting classes, since many of them have already been raising their children without a father. But the focus of the class isn't parenting -- it's co-parenting.
The instructors talk with the parents about bad habits that can crop up -- for example, bad-mouthing the other parent or competing over who the best parent is. The goal is to work together so that each child can have a good relationship with both mom and dad, even if the two have long split by the time the child was born. By encouraging both parents to foster that relationship -- particularly for the parent who doesn't have primary custody -- the focus moves from just making payments to making sure the child knows he or she has two loving parents to count on for life.
Source: Christian Science Monitor, "Judge creates unique problem-solving court to help unwed parents," The Associated Press, May 11, 2012
]]>When she was just a toddler, the woman's parents divorced and her mother, still a teenager, was declared unfit to care for her. Back in the early 1970s, the judge's decision to grant full custody to the woman's father was highly unusual. It probably seemed particularly bizarre to those who knew the rough-and-tumble rancher with the handlebar mustache who admitted he'd never wanted children. But faced with the challenge of raising his 2-year-old daughter, he grabbed the opportunity by the horns.
]]> With his young ex-wife away in Germany with her new husband, the father did all the things that most dads leave to their wives: He hosted slumber parties, brought treats to school functions and even took her bra shopping. As his daughter's classmates continued to ask where her mother was, she continued to rely on her father to fill her absent mom's shoes. "He may not have been a traditional mother," she said later, "but he was all I had."Of course, he never stopped being a dad, either. On the ranch where they lived in China Springs, he taught her how to work cattle and cut firewood, after which they might attend a tractor pull together -- or a ballet.
Although her father passed away late last year, the 40-year-old woman looks back fondly on just how much her father was able to be both a mother and father to her -- the way he comforted her when her heart was broken, and how he helped her leave a bad marriage.
This woman's story is one of countless examples of successful single parenting. Some might feel that a single-parent family isn't ideal, but in many cases, a solo parent can do a wonderful job filling in the gaps with enough effort and love for their child.
Source: MyWestTexas.com, "Single father plays motherly role in daughter's life," Sara Higgins, May 10, 2012
]]>A very public example of how not to handle your divorce can be found in the ongoing saga of former NFL star Deion Sanders and his ex-wife Pilar. In the latest chapter of their tumultuous split, a judge awarded the one-time Dallas Cowboys cornerback temporary custody of the former couple's two sons while their 8-year-old daughter stays with Pilar until a full custody hearing next month. All three children were ordered to undergo psychological counseling, which isn't surprising considering what the family has been through.
]]> Although he filed for divorce in December, Deion and his wife were living in the same house but in separate quarters until last month, when a fight broke out between the two. It apparently started with Pilar saying she hadn't seen one of her sons for four days because he was staying in his father's living quarters. The details of that scuffle, which ended with officers showing up at the house and the Sanders' children filling out police reports, are still heavily disputed. But both ended up charged with misdemeanor simple assault charges and sought protective orders against each other. Deion Sanders was the only one to receive one.At the temporary custody hearing, the judge referred to the Sanderses as "a family in conflict." At this point, it's hard to say what long-term damage the children might suffer as a result of their parents' fighting. But it's safe to say that heated verbal exchanges that get physical in front of your children won't make your divorce any easier on them. If you can't avoid conflict with your ex-wife or husband, you should at least make efforts to work things out when they aren't present. Your family law attorney can also help by mitigating the conflict and helping both of you reach agreements that are beneficial to you and your children.
Source: Star Local News, "Deion Sanders wins protective order against wife," Dan Eakin, May 9, 2012
]]>Sometimes people are so determined to prevent their spouses from getting their money that they go to great lengths to hide it. But it's not as easy as it used to be.
]]> Attorneys no longer have to put in time-consuming legwork to find irregularities in the financial records of a client's spouse. Advanced search tools can turn up red flags in digital bank statements and credit card bills in a matter of minutes and spouses themselves can snoop fairly easily on each other. Social media sites, Web search histories and cellphones can reveal all manner of financial secrets, if a spouse can gain access to them. Some have even installed software on their spouse's computers to find information on everything from secret stock trades to purchases on extra-marital affairs.But are these electronic searches legal? That depends, both on the type of search and the state where the couple lives. While you can certainly do a Google search on your ex, you could be breaking the law by hacking into his or her smartphone or Facebook page. Installing spyware on a computer may not be legal, either. You also need to consider that even if your efforts are legal, they may not be admissible in court.
And that leads us to the downside of snooping on your spouse in search of hidden assets. If you're found to have gathered the evidence illegally, you'll not only lose your credibility in court, but you could go to jail for the offense and your attorney could be forced to pay fines or even lose his or her license.
To avoid this kind of trouble, one data forensic expert has an old-fashioned approach: If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, try simply having a heart-to-heart talk about your suspicions, and your spouse may actually open up. To some it might sound impossible, but at the end of a marriage that's dying anyway, it just might work.
Source: The Wall Street Journal, "Why Hiding Money From Your Spouse Has Gotten a Lot Harder," Veronica Dagher, April 30, 2012
]]>Mediation is a process in which both partners use a neutral mediator to discuss and agree upon every detail of the divorce. The mediator need not be an attorney, but he or she should be experienced in family law and divorce. This option can help decrease expenses, make it easier for children to handle the divorce and improve the ongoing relationship between spouses because they won't have to fight in court.
]]> It does have some potential cons, however. If the mediator becomes biased toward one spouse, the other may not get a fair settlement. And because the disclosure of financial information is voluntary rather than by subpoena, there's potential for one or both spouses to hide assets and income. A mediator's lack of experience could also render the negotiations a waste of time. That's one reason it's important for both spouses to hire an attorney to represent them.Another option is litigated divorce, which entails carrying out a lawsuit even if the case does not end up in a courtroom. The most popular option for divorce, it also allows many freedoms. For example, litigated divorce allows for a settlement that pleases both parties, allows agreements regarding child custody and provides an opportunity to divide assets easily and have other benefits.
In collaborative divorce, both parties in the divorce reach a settlement without stepping into a courtroom. In this process, which works best for couples who have few disagreements on how to manage debt, assets and child custody issues, both spouses and attorneys meet to negotiate a settlement. The negotiations may include a financial planner who has experience with divorce situations.
The do-it-yourself divorce is the least recommended. Divorce is usually rife with legal and financial complications, and often the mistakes made by do-it-yourselfers are irreversible. However, for couples who have only been married a short time, have a limited number of belongings to divide or have no children, it may be a good option. It can also be the least expensive while providing a quick outcome. However, attorneys for both spouses are still recommended.
Whatever option you choose, consulting a family law attorney who can examine the circumstances of your impending divorce is the best first step.
Source: Forbes, "The Four Divorce Alternatives," Jeff Landers, April 24, 2012
]]>Texas is currently one of 13 states where divorcing couples can't file for divorce through the use of a form. The Supreme Court created a task force several months ago to design the forms, and recently the task force presented its work to the full advisory board, which spent hours debating the new forms earlier this month and has yet to approve them.
]]> Although other forms already exist and can be purchased on the Internet and at many office supply stores, many of them aren't currently admissible in Texas courts. A lobbyist for the Texas Family Law Foundation says the new forms might not work in court either because they're "riddled with errors." Not only that, but many judges won't accept any forms that haven't been completed with the aid of an attorney.At the heart of the matter seems to be a debate over the opposition itself. The State Bar of Texas, which is vehemently against the new forms, has been accused of opposing them simply because they could lead to decreased business for family law attorneys in the state. But attorneys speaking on behalf of the state bar reject that claim, saying it would have little to no effect on attorneys. The people at a disadvantage, they say, would be the applicants themselves, who would stand to lose even more without the counsel of an attorney.
"They don't understand the law," said one district judge in reference to couples who might forgo an attorney and fill out paperwork instead. "They don't need a form. They need advice."
Source: Chron.com, "Texas Supreme Court mulls divorce forms," Will Weissert, April 13, 2012
]]>The father of a 9-year-old boy is accusing the child's mother of using the boy as a pawn for her own personal gain. The man recently filed a lawsuit in a Houston federal court that claims the woman installed an audio bug on the child in order to record conversations between family members. The man claimed that the woman put the audio device in the boy's jeans. It was small and resembled a USB drive used in many computers.
]]> The man said that the woman recorded conversations and downloaded them on a computer and possibly shared them with other people. The suit did not specify whom she may have shared the recordings with.Not only will this ordeal likely play a role in the couple's child custody dispute, but the woman is accused of violating wiretapping laws, which can be a serious offense. The man is asking for $10,000 in damages in the suit.
The attorney representing the man also prosecuted an eerily similar case in 2011 outside of Texas. In that case, a recording device was planted in a teddy bear during an ongoing child custody dispute.
Cooperation is the only thing that will expedite the unpleasant process of a child custody dispute. The more the two sides argue and engage in illegal behavior, the longer the proceedings will drag out in court. Not only that, but when parents use their kids to settle personal vendettas, they are hurting their relationship with the children.
Source: Chron.com, "Pasadena man's lawsuit claims ex-wife planted recorder on son," Mike Tolson, April 18, 2012
]]>Recently we discussed the plight of former pro basketball player Dennis Rodman, who at last count owed more than $800,000 in child support for two of his children, as well as $51,000 in alimony. His attorney explained that because he's no longer earning an NBA salary, he has already paid more child support than he earned in the past year.
]]> Also making the news the past several months for his non-athletic pursuits is Terrell Owens, the wide receiver for teams including the Dallas Cowboys, Cincinnati Bengals and the Philadelphia Eagles. He recently filed for bankruptcy to keep up with his annual child support payments of $240,000 for each of his four children.And there are many others. New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has 10 children from eight different relationships, including his current marriage. His payments of $3,500 each to seven mothers of his children amount to nearly $300,000 a year. Other athletes include football player Ray Lewis and NFL Hall of Famer Marshall Faulk, both of whom have six children by four women; Calvin Murphy, who has 14 children; and Evander Holyfield, who has nine children with six women.
So many of these athletes have said their child support payments are causing them to go broke. Part of the problem is that their high salaries have been considered in each of their child support agreements, so they pay more than most of us would, even if the percentage of their income is similar. Not helping matters is the fact that they have many children with different women, all of whom demand financial support.
That doesn't mean you have to be a professional athlete or have multiple partners to struggle with child support payments. If you're feeling in over your head, it may be time to consider a modification. Working with a family law attorney can help you avoid the risk of facing penalties for failure to pay the support you owe by lowering the monthly amount, especially if your financial circumstances have changed as they do for so many retired athletes.
Source: The Grio, "Does 'baby mama drama' make pro athletes go broke?" Kunbi Tinuoye, April 20, 2012
]]>The Dallas man and his wife do have children. But that's where the facts end and the confusion begins. He and his wife went through a separation in 2006, during which time he says he made a foolish mistake by going out with friends one night and engaging in a "two-night stand" with another woman. That mistake came back to haunt him when she told him he was the father of her child. He found himself in a Tarrant County jail in January of this year for nonpayment of child support -- to the tune of more than $50,000.
]]> The man's attorney came to the rescue with an inexpensive DNA paternity kit from a drugstore. A few days later, the results came back, showing zero probability that he was the father. He was able to walk out of jail just last week.The new statute that allowed the man to contest his paternity only took effect in September. It requires men to do so no later than one year from the date they discover a child may not be theirs. Those who have suspected they weren't fathers since before the law took effect have until Sept. 1 of this year to file.
But the paternity test didn't let him off the hook entirely. Although he was freed from his parental responsibility, he still owed the $50,000 in back payments under Texas law. Fortunately, the mother voluntarily relinquished her right to the payments. The man's attorney would like to see the laws change so fathers like his client aren't forced to pay for children who aren't theirs.
The man was left with a small balance of $1,300 for the attorney general's office, fees and the mother's medical care, but at least he can now focus on his real family, including his own two children.
Source: CBS DFW, "Man Jailed For Child Support For Baby That Wasn't His," Carol Cavazos, April 12, 2012
]]>These means of keeping in touch are the basis of the "virtual visitation" laws that exist in some states, including Texas. The child custody laws give non-custodial parents the right to have electronic communication with their children. Texas, which enacted its law in 2007, is one of five states with a virtual visitation law; 22 other states are at various stages of enacting similar laws.
]]> The laws give the courts authority to award electronic communication as part of visitation agreements. Courts may also decide on the frequency and length of the virtual visits. As with face-to-face visitation, protections exist for cases of physical or emotional abuse and a judge may prohibit such communication if it's shown to be potentially harmful to a child.Just as with physical visits, electronic communication should have the child's best interests in mind. There have been situations where parents have asked their children to show them around the house via webcam, spying on their ex and looking for evidence of a new partner or something to incriminate him or her. Clearly, the focus should be on the child and catching up on each other's lives.
Although these means of keeping in touch can be a wonderful addition to the relationship between a faraway parent and his or her child, they aren't meant to entirely substitute in-person visitation. Visits on holidays, summer breaks and other times when parents can spend time with their children shouldn't be replaced by Skype calls in a child custody agreement. But they can make the separation a little less painful and the distance between the two a little shorter.
Source: The Washington Times, "Virtual visitation: a sensible child custody option," Myra Fleischer, April 15, 2012
]]>The man and woman in the case met in 1991 and had a sexual relationship, but never married. After moving from Texas to California 10 years later, the woman told the man she wanted to have children and planned to use a sperm donor. He said he offered to be the donor, as long as he wasn't considered the father. She gave birth to triplets, and the man was listed on the birth certificate.
]]> The bodybuilder married another woman later that year, but about four months later, he was sued for child support and ordered to make payments while the suit was pending. After a California judge made the child support order final, the man appealed.The appeals court overturned the lower court's decision. After four years of paying support for the two children (the third triplet died in infancy), the man says he's learned his lesson and won't donate sperm again.
This is not to say that other sperm donors should worry about having to pay support to a mother they've never met. The appeals court recognized a California statute that allows women to receive sperm donations without worrying about the donor coming back and filing a paternity action. Because the donor isn't recognized as the father, the recipient can't claim he is for child support purposes.
Texas laws are similar in this regard; sperm donors aren't responsible for supporting any children that result from their donation. If that were the case, sperm banks probably wouldn't exist.
Source: ABC Local, "Court says Texas sperm donor owes no child support," The Associated Press, April 11, 2012
]]>But sometimes we can actually learn something from a high-profile divorce. Case in point may be the recent divorce of Ruben Studdard, the winner of the second season of "American Idol." The singer won't be battling out a division of property in court because he played it smart by asking his fiancé to sign a prenuptial agreement before the couple married.
]]> Studdard filed for divorce back in November, stating irreconcilable differences. By January the case was over and done, despite his now-ex-wife's attempts to get a judge to nullify the prenup. She claimed he pressured her to sign the agreement just days before the wedding, unfairly taking her by surprise. But the judge didn't buy her argument, and the prenup was upheld.The final judgment had Studdard walking away with the couple's home and all of his belongings, including pensions, royalties and all of his cash. His ex didn't even get to keep her engagement ring. She also won't be collecting any spousal support. She, will, however, be able to hold onto her wedding dress, a BMW that Studdard agreed to pay off, and a $10,000 property settlement. Studdard will also pay her attorney fees.
The lesson here is that if you really want to keep your assets and property in the event you and your spouse divorce, don't let your current love for each other prevent you from filing a prenup. You may be able to learn something from Studdard, even if your net worth and celebrity aren't quite on par with his.
Source: TMZ, "Ruben Studdard Divorces Like a CHAMP With Ironclad Prenup," April 8, 2012
]]>As you may already know, VAWA's authorization expired in 2011, just as it did in 2000 and 2005. On both those previous occasions, the law was reauthorized and faced virtually no opposition. This time that has not been the case.
]]> The objections have come from members of the Senate Judiciary Committee who feel that this reauthorization bill, as written, includes some unnecessary and unacceptable changes that would expand the law's power.The bill, which was introduced by Sen. Patrick Leahy and Sen. Mike Crapo, proposes new measures to protect domestic violence victims from being discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender. It also proposes to expand tribal court jurisdiction to cases involving alleged abusers who have strong ties to the tribal communities where those courts sit. A third notable change would allow law enforcement officers to request visas from U.S. immigration authorities for undocumented victims who are assisting them with their investigations.
The full Senate is expected to start considering the new VAWA reauthorization bill this week but even those who have voiced objections to the bill in its present form acknowledge that there is no real chance that the law will go away. Opponents have, however, proposed their own version of the reauthorization bill that does away with all of the proposed changes listed above and adds new measures to target fraud in general, and marriage fraud in particular.
Source: USA Today, "Leahy pushes reauthorization of domestic violence bill," Nicole Gaudiano, March 29, 2012
]]>We know that may be a lot to ask in some cases, but it also might be the one thing that helps you avoid an IRS audit, tax penalties and other serious consequences after your Texas divorce.
]]> Filing jointly: If you are in the middle of a divorce now or if you had divorce case finalized last year, you can choose "married, filing jointly" or "married, filing separately" when you file your taxes. The general rule is that it's better to file separately to avoid being held jointly liable for any misinformation on the return. Also keep in mind that a joint return cannot be amended once filed, whereas a separate return can be.Child-related tax deductions: The "Head of Household" dependency deduction is the big one, and can only be claimed by one parent for each child. Where people run into problems (and by "problems" we mean an IRS audit) is when both parents try to claim it for the same tax year.
For couples with an even number of children, the matter is often decided by splitting the deduction. For example, if there are two children, one spouse would claim the HOH status for one child and the other spouse would claim it for the other child. With an odd number of children, reaching an agreement can be more difficult. If spouses do not address this issue in divorce negotiations, the spouse who has custody of a child or children more than 50 percent of the time gets to claim the HOH deduction by default.
These are just two of the most common sources of trouble. There are many other potential tax pitfalls to avoid, however, and you can learn about these by speaking with an attorney or accounting professional about your unique situation.
Source: Business Insider, "The Top Tax Traps Divorced Couples Are Walking Right Into," Mandi Woodruff, April 3, 2012
]]>Most Texans haven't forgotten Bernard Madoff's infamous Ponzi scheme. Neither has a man who invested with Madoff and included the estimated value of those investments in his divorce settlement. After the couple separated in 2001, the man's wife received a $6.25 million settlement when the couple divorced in 2006, $2.7 million of which was paid out from the husband's Madoff account.
]]> There was a cutoff date of Sept. 1, 2004, for valuing the couple's assets. At that time, the husband believed he had $5.4 million in the Madoff account. The Ponzi scheme wasn't discovered until 2008. The man requested a revision of the divorce settlement, reasoning that he ended up with much less money than he thought he had when the couple settled. But the New York Court of Appeals reversed an appellate court's decision to grant the reopening.The court pointed out in its ruling that the husband was able to access funds from the Madoff account during the divorce in order to settle accounts with his wife. It was possible, the judges argued, for the husband to have withdrawn part or all of his funds up until the scheme was revealed.
One of the judges noted that if the man's marital assets had increased after the settlement, his wife would not have been able to claim entitlement to the higher value. Therefore, the husband can no more easily attempt to reopen the settlement agreement simply because the value of his assets decreased.
The losses experienced by Madoff investors or any other Ponzi scheme investors are highly unfortunate, but in the end they aren't all that different from a loss of income for other reasons, such as a job layoff. To reopen a settlement after several years would be unfair to the spouse who received income in the division of assets and relied on those funds once the settlement was complete.
Source: New York Law Journal, "Ex-Husband Loses Madoff-Prompted Bid to Reopen Divorce," Joel Stashenko, April 4, 2012
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